unceasing emptying of the heart

It is 12:33 PM Saturday afternoon here in West Michigan. Outside it is raining and gray this afternoon. It is predicted to be in the 60’s next week.

I got up this morning around 6:15 AM. When I came upstairs Carol is in her usual spot in our living room. We have been living in this house going on 33 years. Next month Carol and I will celebrate our 43rd wedding anniversary. We have lived out most of our married life in this house.

I spent the morning hours writing in my paper diary and reading from a book titled, ‘Life of Jesus Christ’ Part Two Volume 2 Chapters 58-89 by Ludolph of Saxony. Carol left this morning to help do yard work at her church. This morning around 10 o’clock AM I left the house to check out the new southside location of the Goodwill Thrift Store. The new Goodwill Thrift store building is bigger and is not so dark. This Goodwill store is just a couple blocks down from the old Goodwill store building. I went to Goodwill not only to check their new location but to look at their used books. I found these used books this morning-

‘10,000 Light-Years From Home’ Science Fiction Short Stories by James Tiptree Jr.

‘The Unredeemed Captive: A Family Story From Early America’ by John Demos

‘Entertaining Satan: Witchcraft and the Culture of Early New England’ Updated Edition by John Demos

‘The Terranauts’ A Novel by T. C. Boyle

Carol got home around 11:19 AM we talked and had lunch. Now I am writing in my online blogs. Time goes by. This is the last day of April 2022. Tomorrow will be May 1st 2022. I will close to wait. Last night I mainly read from a book titled, ‘Return To Albion: Americans in England 1760-1940’ by Richard Kenin. When Carol got home late this morning I had been reading from a book titled, ‘Francisco de Osuna: The Third Spiritual Alphabet’ [The Classics of Western Spirituality].

we must always pray to avoid the danger of the day of judgment

It is 3:11 PM Friday afternoon here in West Michigan. It is partly sunny cloudy day. It is 62 degrees outside this afternoon.

I am tired as usual. I got up this morning around 7:30 AM. When I came upstairs I found Carol reading in our living room. I got myself a cup of coffee and sat in the dining room slowly waking up. Carol had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so had devotions and Carol left around 8:25 AM. When Carol left I continue writing in my paper diary and read from a book titled, ‘Looking Unto Jesus’ by Isaac Ambrose.

Carol was home before I left to volunteer at our local library used books store The Book Nook. The Book Nook was not busy so I read from a book titled, ‘Of Making Many Books: A Hundred Years Of Reading Writing and Publishing’ by Roger Burlingame and wandered the store. I bought some used books at the Book Nook today-

‘Journal Of A Tour To The Hebrides’ by James Boswell

‘Ashenden Or The British Agent’ a novel by W. Somerset Maugham

‘Crossword’ A Novel by Jonathan Franzen

‘The Invention Of Russia: From Gorbachev’s Freedom To Putin’s War’ Russian history by Arkady Ostrovsky

Carol came into the Book Nook at 1 o’clock PM to do her volunteer shift. I left to visit local thrift stores in search of used books. I found only at Action House some used books to buy. I did drive up to southside Goodwill only to discover they are closed, the store has either moved someplace else or closed permanently. At Action House thrift store I found these used books-

‘Legends Of The Fall’ A Novel by Jim Harrison

‘The Woman Lit By Fireflies’ A Novel by Jim Harrison

‘I Me Mine’ Autobioghpy by George Harrison

When I got home I ate lunch, wrote in my paper diary, and messed with our main computer. So has by this day thus far. Last night I mainly read, ‘Looking Unto Jesus’ by Isaac Ambrose.

the Order of the White Eagle

It is 12:30 PM Thursday afternoon here in West Michigan. It is a cold windy cloudy with some sunshine afternoon. Time goes by. I got up this morning around 6:55 AM. I came upstairs to find everything as it was when I went to bed last night. As I looked around me I noticed nothing had changed. Carol was in her chair in the living room like she is every morning. Maybe someday I will wake up to an empty chair. Maybe someday I will not be here but buried in a flower bed.

I spent the morning doing the usual activities. I wrote in my paper diary and read from a book titled, ‘The Life of Jesus Christ’ Part Two, Volume 2 Chapters 58-89 By Ludolph Saxony. I do not remember much about the morning. I do recall making a pot of oatmeal for breakfast for Carol and I. I remember Carol reading to me this morning for devotions Tripp’s book, ‘New Morning Mercies’ and then we prayed. I do remember this morning sharing with Carol my reflections on the war in Ukraine/a history Eastern Europe. I do remember Carol going for a morning walk and me feeding the birds. The morning went by and now we are in the afternoon hours.

I have been reading this afternoon from, ‘The Radiant Way’ A Novel by Margaret Drabble. Yesterday after my therapist session I visited a thrift store to look at their used books and found these used books to add my library-

‘The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle’ A Novel by Haruki Murakami

‘Blood Crime’ historical fiction crime by Sebasti Alzamora Translated from the Catalan by Maruxa Relano & Martha Tennent

‘Between Man and Beast-A Unlikely Explorer and the African Adventure That Took the Victorian World by Storm’ by Monte Reel

‘The Ecliptic’ A Novel by Benjamin Wood

‘Skinned Alive’ Stories by Edmund White

Last night I watched the PBS show Nature and read before going to bed, ‘The Sketch Book’ by Washington Irving.

This evening Carol invited Caleb, Emily, and the girls over for a meal. I am sure they will bring Ollie with them when they come here for a meal.

I am tired as usual today. I am world weary. I want world peace. I want the Lord to come back and shut down this horror show.

I will close to wait.

a perfect silence in the heart

It is 1:23 PM Wednesday afternoon here in Michigan. It is a cold sunny afternoon. I have to leave for a therapy session at 1:45 PM. I thought I would write a few words before leaving for my session. At these therapy sessions we basically just talk for 45 minutes.

I got up this morning around 7:15 AM. When I got up I found Carol in her usual spot in our living room. I got a cup of coffee and then sat in our dining room waking up to a new day. I won’t go into detail about my morning because my mornings all fit the same pattern. My life is a constant repeat. My life never changes much from one day to the next. I like routine because I do not like disorder.

Carol left this morning to have lunch with a friend and to do errands. I spent the morning writing in my paper diary and reading from these two books-

‘Reformed Systematic Theology-Spirit and Salvation’ Volume 3 by Beeke & Smalley (I finished reading this volume this morning.)

‘Francisco de Osuna: The Third Spiritual Alphabet’ [The Classics of Western Spirituality]

I read last night from these two books before going to bed-

‘The Age of The Crisis of Man-Thought And Fiction In America, 1933-1973’ by Mark Greif

‘The Sketch Book’ by Washington Irving

I also read throughout the day yesterday from this book, ‘Return To Albion-Americans in England 1760-1940’ by Richard Kenin

Well I am tired and need to get ready to leave.

now is the day of salvation

April 24. “But now they are hid from thine eyes” Luke xix, 42

When Pharaoh saw there was respite, he hardened his heart. Solomon tells us, Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore hearts of the sons of men are fully set in them to do evil. But God’s keeping silence is not approbation. His long-suffering is not even connivance. Cannot he be merciful unless he allows us to trifle and insult him for ever? His patience has its rules and its bounds. And Jerusalem knew this.

If we cannot view any of our fellow creatures as beyond the possibility of salvation, so we have no rule by which we can absolutely determine against ourselves. Yet there are several things of fearful import, to which we do well to attend.

First. The language of the word of God is fearful. “Ephraim is joined to idols; let him alone.” “Israel would none of me; so I gave them up to their own hearts’ lust.” “In thy filthiness is lewdness: because I have purged thee, and thou wast not purged, thou shalt not be purged from thy filthiness any more, till I have caused by fury to rest upon thee.” “If we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins: but a certain fearful looking for judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.” “Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded; but ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof; I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh.” “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” We offer no commentary on these passages-but, surely, their language is fearful.

Secondly. We know that the final impenitency is irrecoverable hopeless; and with life all our opportunities end; and this is fearful. It would not be kindness, but cruelty, to flatter men with a contrary expectation. Search the Scripture, and you will always find a difference between the present and the future. One is a state of trial, the other of decision. The one of sowing, the other reaping; and whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap. Is not this sufficient to induce us to seek the Lord while he may be found, and to call upon him while he is near?

Thirdly. This life, upon which every thing depends, is very brief-this fearful. Look at the images of Scripture; a flower of the field, a flood, a watch in the night, a dream, a vapor. Consider the deaths that come under your observation. Observe the frailty of your frame. Remember the numberless diseases and accidents to which you are exposed. Think of your pulse, where the question is asked sixty times every minute, whether you shall live or die, and then you may well exclaim, “Great God! up what a slender thread Hangs everlasting things! The eternal state of all the dead Upon life’s feeble strings!”

Fourthly. Our continuance here is as uncertain as it is short-this is fearful. ‘I have not had,” said a good man, “a to-morrow for years.” It would be well if we had not. Indeed, we have not in reality, whatever we may have in imagination. “Boast not thyself of to-morrow, for thou not what a day may bring forth.”

Fifthly. Before this short and uncertain period terminates, many opportunities and advantages may elapse, to return no more-this is fearful. Many convictions may die away, no more to be renewed again unto repentance. We may be deprived of reason, and religion can only operated through the medium of that. Old age helps on insensibility, and before we are aware, though unpardoned and unrenewed, we may become incapable of a moral change. The Gospel may be removed from us. We may be placed where it is not in our power to attend it. We may become deaf, or blind. Sickness may confine us to a room of pain, or a bed of languishing. The influences necessary to render the means of grace effectual may be withholden. Though Paul plants, and Apollos waters, God alone gives the increase; and though we can do nothing to deserve his grace, we may provoke his anger, and he may judicially give us up. . .” William Jay ‘Morning Exercises For The Closet: Every Day In The Year’

lost and found

It is 11:11 AM Tuesday morning here in West Michigan. It is a cold damp gray morning. I do not know if we will ever seen sunshine again in this life. I have a deep feeling mankind is about to be destroyed by the Russians. I see throughout the earth demonic madness has seized the minds of men.

I got up this morning around 8 o’clock AM. When I came upstairs I found Carol working on her Woman’s Bible Study on the Epistle of James. I got myself a cup of coffee and sat across from her seeking to wake up to a new day. I had a couple slices of raisin toast for breakfast along with a bowl of cereal. Carol and I had morning devotions. In the mornings we read ‘New Morning Mercies’ a devotional book by Paul Tripp. Tripp at the end of every meditation recommends a Scriptural passage to read out loud. After reading a portion of Scripture Carol and I have a time of prayer.

Carol left this morning to pick up Cora and then to do errands. Carol and Cora are now home and I am down in the lower level typing on my lap top computer. I read for devotions while Carol was gone from an old devotional book titled, ‘Morning Exercises For The Closet: Every Day In The Yea’ by William Jay published in 1828. I also read from William Jay’s book titled, ‘Prayers For The Use Of Families: Or, The Domestic Minister’s Assistant’ published in 1820.

Recently I bought an old used paperback titled, ‘When The Century Was Young: A Writer’s Notebook’ by Dee Brown. When I bought this paperback by Dee Brown I knew I had other books by him. I searched for my Dee Brown books but could not locate them. I knew I would not have gotten rid of Dee Brown’s classic book, ‘Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History Of The American West.’ I had other books also by Dee Brown that I could not find. I searched for Dee Brown’s books for a couple of days and then it dawned on me that the books by Dee Brown had been stored in a plastic container in a storage closet down in the lower level. I suddenly remembered that last Summer I shoved a plastic container filled with my American West books in this storage closed. So pulled out this plastic container and found a ton of books I thought I had given away last Summer when I got rid of a ton of books. Here is a list of books I found in this container-books I thought I had lost but now I have found-
‘Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of The American West’ by Dee Brown
‘Creek Mary’s Blood’ A Novel by Dee Brown
‘Hear That Lonesome Whistle Blow: Railroads In The West’ by Dee Brown
‘The American West’ American history by Dee Brown
‘The Westerners’ American history by Dee Brown
‘The Lance and The Shield: The Life and Times of Sitting Bull’ biography by Robert M. Utley
‘The Life Wild And Perilous: Mountain Men And The Paths To The Pacific’ American history by Robert M. Utley
‘Crazy Horse: The Strange Man of the Oglalas’ biography by Mari Sandoz
‘Southwest Homelands’ essays by William Kittredge
‘Lakota Woman’ Autobiography by Mary Crow Dog
‘Wilderness At Dawn: The Settling Of The North American Continent’ American history by Ted Morgan
‘The Myth Of The West: America as the Last Empire’ by Jan Willem Schulte Nordholt
‘Where White Men Fear to Tread’ The Autobiography Of Russell Meanes With Marvin J. Wolf
‘A Shovel Of Stars: The Making of the American West-1800 to the Present’ by Ted Morgan
‘Exploration & Empire: The Explorer and the Scientist in the Winning of the American West’ by William H. Goetzmann
‘The Frontiersmen: A Narrative’ by Allan W. Eckert
‘In The Spirit Of Crazy Horse’ history by Peter Matthiessen
‘Trail Of Tears: The Rise And Fall Of The Cherokee Nation’ by John Ehle
‘The Men Who Wear The Star: The Story Of The Texas Rangers’ by Charles M. Robinson III
‘The First Americans: A Story of North American Archaeology’ by C. W. Ceram
‘Kearny’s March” The Epic Creation of the American West, 1846-1847’ by Winston Groom
’38 Nooses: Lincoln, Little Crow, And The Beginning Of The Frontier’s End’ by Scott W. Berg
‘Nothing Like It In The World: The Men Who Built The Transcontinental Railroad 1863-1869’ by Stephen E. Ambrose
‘Blood And Thunder: An Epic Of The American West’ by Hampton Sides
‘A Sorrow In Our Heart: The Life Of Tecumseh’ biography by Allan W. Eckert
‘The Sun Dance People: The Plains Indians, their past and present’ by Richard Erdoes
‘Frederic Remington: Selected Writings’ Compiled by Frank Oppel

It is 12:10 PM Tuesday afternoon. Time to close to eat lunch. I am glad I found the above books on the American West. I love America.

there is no place for inward delights to dwell when the mind is captivated by outward delights

It is 2:01 PM Monday afternoon here in Michigan. It is 48 degrees and cloudy, with some sunshine.

I got up this morning around 6:30 AM. When I came upstairs the house was dark, Carol had not gotten up. I got myself a cup of coffee and wrote in my paper diary. Carol got up around 7 o’clock AM. She left this morning to do errands in Grand Rapids and meet a friend for lunch. I read till it was time for me to get ready to go volunteer at the Book Nook from a volume titled, ‘Matthew’ New Testament 1 Reformation Commentary On Scripture. I left for the Book Nook around 9:45 AM. The Book Nook was not super busy, just normal. When not helping folks I read from these two books-‘The Red Prince: The Fall of a Dynasty and the Rise of Modern Europe’ by Timothy Snyder and ‘Return To Albion: Americans in England 1760-1940’ By Richard Kenin. I bought this book this morning at the Book Nook ‘Return To Albion’.

When I got home from the Book Nook Carol was still gone. I ate lunch and wrote in my paper diary. I then cleaned the kitchen and now I am writing in my online blogs. The mail came, but it was all crap mail.

I have nothing to do the rest of this day but wait. As usual I am tired and might doze till Carol arrives home.

once devotion is attained, words should cease

It is 1:52 PM Sunday afternoon here where I live out my allotted days. It is 69 degrees and it is raining. I am wondering when this week’s cold weather slams us how will affect the blooming plants. Will the plants die from shock? We will be getting Winter like weather till the middle of May and maybe into June. We might enter into another Ice Age.

I got up this morning around 7:15 AM. When I came upstairs Ollie greeted me. I gave Ollie a treat and then went to my main study to get my paper diary. I got my morning pills and a cup of coffee. I took my pills and wrote in my paper diary. Carol left for church around 9 o’clock AM. I spent the morning writing in my paper diary and reading from these books-

‘Reformed Systematic Theology-Spirit and Salvation’ Volume 3 by Beeke & Smalley (I am on the last chapter in this volume)

‘Francisco de Osuna: The Third Spiritual Alphabet’ [The Classics of Western Spirituality]

Caleb picked up his dog Ollie around 12:15 PM this afternoon. Carol got home from church around 12:50 PM. When she got home I was writing in my paper diary and reading from a book titled, ‘The Life Of Jesus Christ’ Part Two Volume 2 Chapters 58-89 Comprehensive Index By Ludolph of Saxony Translated By Milton T. Walsh.

Carol is right now taking a nap and I am writing in my four online blogs. As I type I can hear the wind howling and rain smashing into our windows. Next Sunday will be the first day of April 2022. I wonder how many Ukrainians will be murdered by the Russians by the end of April 2022? I can see Putin drinking the blood of Ukrainians as he stands with that Russian Orthodox candle burning in his hand. Reminds me when ex-President Donald Trump shook before his disciples the Bible claiming he would make America great. Putin claims the killing of Ukrainians is for Mother Russia and Trump when he sought to overthrow the last Presidential elections by his army of Republicans was so to make sure America would remain great. It is all plain insanity what is going on not only in Ukraine but America.

Last night I read my books and went to bed around 10:45 PM. I suppose I will close to write in my paper diary and read some more Mystical Theology.

take down

It is 4:38 PM late Saturday afternoon here in West Michigan. It is now 82 degrees, which is hot for this time of year. Next week we will be back in the 40’s with rain. These strange weather patterns are a sign of the End Times. It is sad to read of the wild fires out West. It is going to be a terrible fire season due to the West suffering years of drought conditions. Out West rivers and lakes have been drying up and water will be scarce for major Western cities. Here where we live there is Lake Michigan, which is the largest fresh water lake in the world. But even Lake Michigan is being attacked by chemicals from run off from farms pouring water into river and streams that flow into Lake Michigan. In the end we are killing the planet earth with poisons and global heating. The Polar Ice Cap is melting and soon the East Coast of America will be under water.

In the mail this afternoon I received three new books I had ordered from New York Review Books Classics-

‘The Alteration’ Science Fiction by Kingsley Amis

‘Dear Illusion-Collected Stories’ by Kingsley Amis

‘The Green Man’ Ghost Story by Kingsley Amis

I have been reading this afternoon from these two novels-‘Doxology’ A Novel by Nell Zink and ‘The Radiant Way’ A Novel by Margaret Drabble.

Late this morning I mowed our front lawn because of all the weeds that had sprouted up from the ground.

Carol got home from doing stuff around 12:28 PM. This day goes by like a weird Spring heat wave. As usual I am fighting to stay awake. It seems lately all I want to do is close my eyes and dream of yesterdays.

it is by enduring suffering that we ascend to the repose of the heavenly dwelling

It is 11:22 AM late Saturday afternoon here. It is sunny and 68 degrees outside presently.

I got up this morning around 6:35 AM. When I came upstairs I found Carol doing the usual. I made a fresh pot of coffee and then sat seeking to wake up to another day. My main goal each day is to get through it with the aid of divine grace. When you get my age you are thankful you can get out of bed without help. Carol left this morning to make pigs at her church. I spent the morning writing in my diary and reading. I forgot to report Carol and I did read Tripp this morning and prayed before she left the house. My wife likes no she enjoys being productive. My wife likes using her time wisely, not wasting the time she has here on earth seeking after vanity.

I mainly read this morning from a book titled, ‘Francisco de Osuna: The Third Spiritual Alphabet’ [The Classics of Western Spirituality].

I did mow our front lawn late this morning. I mowed down the weeds that were growing on our front lawn. I did walk around our property to see if anything was showing signs of growth. I think it is still too early to see any real blooming plants.

I do not know when Carol will be home today. The church had 310 order’s for pigs-in-the blanket to fill before quitting for the day. Carol did not know how many pigs they made yesterday. Carol said she would so some grocery shopping before coming home. Carol said she wanted on this warm sunny Spring day get working on pulling weeds and trimming plants.

Last night I mainly wrote in my diary, filmed a video for my Youtube channel and read. I went to bed around 10:35 PM. The last book I read was titled, ‘Francisco de Osuna: The Third Spiritual Alphabet’ [The Classics of Western Spirituality]. I also read yesterday evening from these two books, ‘Of Making Many Books: A Hundred Years of Reading Writing and Publishing’ by Roger Burlingame and ‘Doxology’ A Novel by Nell Zink. Do not know what I will read today with the time allotted to me.

I suppose I will close to wait.

“[19] Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
[20] For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
[21] Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
[22] But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
[23] For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:
[24] For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.
[25] But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
[26] If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.
[27] Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” James 1:19-27